You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone...

Today has been weird.

It all started with this crazy dream in which I'd gone fountain-diving for change. When I surfaced, I decided I had better find a Coin*Star, but then my ex was there with a $25 bill and he said he'd trade me.

"Are you sure I even found that much?" I asked dubiously. He seemed to really want the change, so I dropped it at his feet.

"Just kidding," he said, but I was too quick and I took the bill from him. He wanted to fight me for it so I ran. Turned out it was actually a $220 bill. I realized I'd made out like a bandit and hid it in my pants, because that's what all good crooks do with their money. Please don't ever try to rob me.

Long story short, he chased me around for what seemed like hours. He caught up to me in an elevator that looked like the inside of a glacier. I pushed the button to go down to my car. He pushed the button for the top floor. The elevator started to go up. I was stuck.

Lucky for me, his half of the elevator suddenly dropped away as an automated voice said it had gotten too hot. Global warming for the win.

Some kids I found upstairs agreed to help me escape. My ex soon found me and I started jumping down whole flights of stairs to get away. I think the kids deterred him but I woke up before I could get to the car.

When I woke up, my alarm hadn't even gone off yet. Normally it's all I can do to roll out of bed after hitting snooze a couple of times, but today I couldn't even fall back asleep to finish the dream.

It was a dark, but thankfully not stormy, day at camp.

When I got there, two of the three other counselors I work with in the half-day program weren't in. All the older campers had gone on a field trip, leaving us with the run of the school, field, blacktop and playground. Eerie factor #1: Spending the day in a ghost school.

Then my boss randomly told us we're no longer allowed to help the kids in the bathroom, even the three-year-olds who can't always pull up their pants themselves. I'm sure some parent complained (that's fairly common in our line of work), but it seemed random in the context of random events that preceded and followed. That was eerie factor #2.

Then the fire alarm testing began (eerie factor #3).

We took the kids out to the playground because the noise was scaring some of them. I prayed to God it wouldn't rain. It stayed dreary and hot.

We were in the middle of setting up for our unbirthday bash - complete with hoodsie cups, party hats, and noisemakers - when, eerie factor #4, water started gushing out of a spigot in the side of the school. Not just any spigot, either - one at the top of the wall, just inches below the roof line. And not just any water - this shit was black.

It was all we could do to keep the kids from going to investigate, especially when our instincts were to do the same. After about 5 minutes it stopped, leaving a stinking black puddle on the blacktop. I started to wonder whether calling it "shit" in my mind was really such an inaccurate prognosis.

And THEN the seagulls showed up. A huge one landed right in the middle of the tables where we'd had our unbirthday bash. My co-worker's boyfriend had brought their kitten for show and tell and I was terrified the monster bird would carry it away. Good thing there was a wall of children surrounding the poor thing.

After my boss chased away the seagull, it perched on the corner of the building and watched us, calling to its minions every so often. That was eerie factor #5. Alfred Hitchcock, anyone?

By the time we went inside, seagulls were wheeling overhead and my kids were preparing to sacrifice me to them.

Needless to say, TGIF.

Peace, love and stupid frickin goddamn silly bands,
Miss Rex


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