Reflections

In light of 2009... and because these random surveys that I snag from Reah are so much fun.... some Amandasaurus-related factoids:

I’m a writer. I work best early in the day, away from my bedroom and, more importantly, away from my computer.

I wish I could skateboard, snowboard, or surf. Alas, I do not have the balance for any of these.

I don’t care if it’s thirty degrees out and blizzarding; I want ice cream!

I name most of my material possessions. My guitars are Black Fire (electric), Mabel (acoustic), and Ruby (bass); my car is Derry; my laptop is Jesus; my phone is L. G. Fuad; and I have just decided that my amp is Lt. Surge.

With the exception of sex, I will try almost anything once.

With the exception of cows, I will eat almost anything you could imagine in almost any combination you could imagine. This includes the likes of pepperoni with honey and tuna fish with jelly: staples of a scrumptious La Vida diet. Also M&Ms with chips and salsa if I’m feeling especially nutritious.

I really love the moon the first night after it’s new, when it’s a tiny silver sliver and you can see the dim outline of the rest of it.

I hate mainstream everything, probably more than is justified.

When people in movies have on-screen sex, it makes me really uncomfortable.

I wish I had more time to read.

I still use my Walkman sometimes. *Oldskool!!*

Skullcandy headphones are sexy.

Bassists are sexy.

Your face is sexy… maybe. ^_~

Concerts are probably my favorite thing in the world. I’ll do anything to get to a concert. And I’ve got to be up front. Fighting your way there is half the adventure of going to a show XD

As soon as I can, I’m moving to the west coast. Wish I was rich enough to live on Coronado….

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To honor the passing of 2008, I've been reflecting on all the things I've discovered over the year:

Carpe diem.

The older I get, the littler I realize I am.

Lying DOES beat shaving your legs, but it’s not the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

Mountain Dew does not glow in the dark.

You are what you become. You become what you are.

Life’s what you make of it, and what you’ll get is what you’ll take from it.

"No words, just emotions" leaves you on the side of the road with a flat and no jack.

Evidence shows that the way to a guy’s heart is not through his stomach. I'll venture a guess that it's a little lower than that.

Sometimes God gives us exactly what we're asking for and it's like.... PWNED.

Tea is actually quite scrumptious. Who knew?

Never underestimate the density of the male species. You will always be proven wrong.

Anyone can believe their eyes. It takes something different to believe your heart.

I would rather be happy than right.

The mystery of "jet-puffed marshmallows" is best left unsolved.

Geese live forever. At any rate I ain't ever seen a dead goose.

If you plant the little green army men high enough, nobody will bother taking them down (atop the clock in Lane... on the windowpanes of the chapel lobby....)

You're never too old to be a scene kid at heart. However, you are probably too old to go to a Cobra show.

Be smart first and nice second or people will take advantage of you.

Long hair and mosh pits don't mix.

If it's pouring rain, don't try to use your phone outside, dumbface. Everybody knows that.

Sledding in a Nor'easter is TOTALLY epic. Driving in one kind of sucks.

If you put your fro yo in those little cups that are supposed to be for ketchup, sometimes the Lane workers won't make you pay for it.

Spooning with boys is not scandalous... but if you give Ravin a camera, she can make it look that way.

College and vegetarianism don't mix. If the food is free, you eat it and don't ask questions.

If you feel it, someone else has already written a song about it.

Baking soda is a very effective way to whiten teeth and costs a heck of a lot less than Crest whitening strips or fancy-pants toothpaste.

I cannot cope with a world devoid of love, and I do not wish to cope with a world devoid of God.

No matter how long you stand in the shower, you can't wash regret away. No matter how far you walk, jog or drive, you can't leave your problems behind. And no matter how good the ice cream tastes, all you're going to gain from bingeing out of self-pity is weight.

There are no mistakes, only accidents entwined with fate.

Who I am hates who I've been



I am recycling my childhood, along with receipts and bank statements from two years back and the occasional birthday card that someone signed and sent me out of obligation. Sifting through all the typed and scribbled words that defined my high school self is like reading somebody else's biography. I don't know who I was, though at the time I was sure I had myself and everything else figured out.

I thought I was open-minded, accepting, and loving, but I was quick to judge everyone, at the same time condemning them for judging me (which I still believe they did, but that never gave me the right to write them off like I did). Honest to God, I don't know how I held down any friends. I thought I was comfortable in my own skin, but I was narcissistic and confident to the point of arrogance. I assumed most of my peers deserved my contempt, thinking I was better than them - because I cared about academics, because I didn't drink or party or have sex with random guys, because I had written a book, because I was a Christian.

That last one kills me the most. Christians are supposed to be humble and think others better than themselves, but the way I wrote about myself and the people I encountered from day to day clearly shows that I thought I was worth a whole lot more than any of them. Instead of showing them Christ-like love, I just avoided them altogether. My attitude was more or less a middle finger to all but my closest friends; everyone could go to hell for all I cared. Jesus would have befriended them. I know he would have. He loves them so much more than I ever did or could.

So this is just to say, for anyone who cares to listen, that I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again because who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been.

I'm a pirate, doncha know?


Last night instead of sleigh bells, all I heard on my roof was RAIN, washing my beautiful white Christmas down the drain. ='(

I know y'all want to hear about the booty. I had a pretty good haul this morning. My dad bought me an iPod even though I told him not to; and I mean, it'll be great to not have to deal with the defective select button on the ol' video iPod anymore, but as long as the thing played music I wasn't going to replace it. I got loads of socks and I'm thrilled because I've gotten holes in all my favorite pairs this month. I got all kinds of shampoo and other useful things that every college girl needs, like a toothbrush and chewing gum. I got a few books, too. I should read more often. I miss it.

I think I need to issue a list of approved stores to my grandparents, though. They always buy me gift cards, and it's good that they want me to pick out my own gift so I'll be sure to like it, but there's only so much you can pick out at a store you don't really want to shop at. I could use a gift card for Hot Topic, Pac Sun, Journeys, Barnes and Noble, Borders, Forever 21, the Apple store (which my uncle was shrewd enough to get), or the whole gosh darn mall if you really wanna play it safe, but they ALWAYS get them for Macy's or Kohl's and... I just don't really buy stuff at those places anymore. Last time I used it on a toaster oven, which I'm not actually even allowed to have at school....

Kudos to whichever grandparent picked out the Panera card, though. When in doubt, food is always a good gift. Just look at all the banana bread I baked this year.


My dad's new robot toy is talking really loudly downstairs. Harold, our miniature schnauzer, is a riot about it; he keeps going over to sniff it, then the thing says something and the poor dog runs away in terror. I won't lie. I've walked by it a couple times, thinking it was off, only to have it make some remark. I screamed and practically fell over on my way upstairs to make this post.

I know I promised an excerpt from my story. Until I have time to get that up, enjoy these lovely pictures:


This is what remains.



"I Celebrate the Day"
Relient K

With this Christmas wish is missed
the point I could convey
if only I could find the words to say to let you know
how much you've touched my life, because
here is where you're finding me -
in the exact same place as New Year's Eve -
and from a lack of my persistency,
we're less than half as close as I want to be.

And the first time that you opened your eyes,
did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
did you know that it would change this world forever?

So this Christmas I'll compare
the things I've felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear:
that you have come to meet me here.

To look back and think that
this baby would one day save me
In the hope that what you did,
that you were born so I might really live
To look back and think that
this baby would one day save me...

And the first time that you opened your eyes,
did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips,
did you know that it would change this world forever?

And I
I celebrate the day
that you were born to die
so I could one day pray for you to save my life.

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Every Christmas, I come back to this song as a work of profoundly childlike thought, heartfelt truth, and artistic beauty. We tend to forget that when the last dollar is spent, the last ribbon curled, the last present unwrapped and the last cookie crumbled, THIS is what's left. A baby. A Savior. A celebration, a promise, and a hope. A song sung in every tongue that can never be silenced, although at times it fades. I won't pretend it hasn't faded for me this year, but amidst the raging currents of life, there will never come a time when I don't believe this is true: that God sent his only son to take on flesh - I mean, FLESH; think about the implications of a deity wrapping himself in FLESH - so I could one day pray for him to save my life.

Merry Christmas.

Technicolor girls

Twas the eve of Christmas eve, and all through the house..... echoed the strains of Amandasaurus's emo music... because no matter how hard I try to grow out of being scene and emo, I keep finding more emo bands that don't suck. Hard to believe, I know.




I also can't help drooling over all the scenester jewelry illuminating Claire's with its neon glory. I should not be allowed in that store. I should also not admit that I shop there, as it exists for the whims of obnoxious tweeney girls who are at least four years younger than me. BUT YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR NEON. Remember that.

I finished shopping today! I freaked out and called everyone asking what the flip I should get my boyfriend for Christmas, and they were like, "Well, just get him - ah - hmmm, you have a point; he IS hard to shop for...." And of course in the end I came up with an entirely different idea from what everyone suggested. Isn't that just like me?

As you may have guessed from the fact that I went shopping, I got my car out of the driveway and it's running fine. Aaand running into a lot of snowbanks because apparently I can't navigate around them.... I just know they must've had someone like me captaining the Titanic....

Anyhow, I bought some stuff and baked some stuff and bought some more stuff. My sister wants Uggs; she's been through at least as many pairs of those things as I've been through Chucks, and that's quite a lot. She knew no one in the family had the money for Uggs, though, and asked for an imitation instead, which was really good of her. But she wanted them to basically BE Uggs without actually bearing the logo. Walking around the mall yesterday, she found a reason to dislike EVERY pair of boots we presented to her. Well, tonight I found a really lovely cranberry red pair at Kohl's, and even though I generally think Uggs are hideously, irredeemably ugly... if she doesn't like this pair, I'm totally taking them for myself. XD

Well, I'm out for the night. I've been getting up early - like, before the hour hand reaches double digits.... In fact, I've been up before nine every day this week, and for me that is a feat indeed. Why do I put myself through this on vacation? you may ask. After all, I didn't get up this early when school was in session; why do you think I didn't make my chapel quota? Well. I've been working on my novel, which is way more exciting and epic than chapel (with the exception of that one chapel with the guy from Walden Media, and the one with that other guy who's getting me an agent.... and the one where that other other guy who was mostly blind referenced Harry Potter.)

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As they all grow older the truth will be understood,
cause we never turn out the way we thought we would.

RAWR!

My mom teaches piano lessons, and I hate being home when she does. Not because I don't like hearing the music, though hearing kids struggle through the same four-note songs for 19 years of my life does get a little monotonous - but hey, what are headphones for, right? No, the worst is that it suddenly becomes my responsibility to answer the phone, which starts ringing off the hook the moment my mother sits down to teach a lesson, so I accomplish nothing because I'm too busy playing fetch with the handset. And when I answer, people just assume I'm her and start talking a million miles a second, so I have to interrupt and explain that I am not, in fact, my mother and that she is teaching (if you're calling about piano lessons, you should KNOW that she's teaching during the afternoon), and then they start throwing questions at me like I should know the answers. When I don't, they start pitching names and call-back numbers and I'm like, oh shit I don't have a pen, so now I'm trying to memorize things that have no relevance to me, and meanwhile the computer's going into screen saver mode and my train of thought is totally derailed.....

So yeah, long story short, I decided I should go somewhere else to work on my novel. But there's no Prancing Pony or Claymore or Atomic Cafe around here. And then I remembered I was supposed to play chauffeur for my sister and get her from basketball practice at 5, so I decided to go early and just do my work at the high school.

But I got to my car and the door was iced shut, the windshield wipers were frozen down, the heat knob was sticking (this was ten minutes later, after I pried the door open and thawed my frostbitten fingers), and when I put it in drive, there was this awful grinding sound from under the car and the wheels started spinning. So apparently I am TRAPPED here, possibly for as long as it takes for the ice to thaw and maybe even longer if there is actual permanent damage to my car from living under the snow for four days.

*Angry people music time*

Play it back again

New "Winter Passing" video from William and Jack!


I won't lie, I'm a little disappointed. On the bright side, it's a 4-and-a-half-minute video of William's gorgeous face, which is what the fans want (and I won't deny that I'm right there with them ^_^), but it doesn't really do anything. There's no story to it, no conflict. It's just a pretty man walking around and playing an acoustic guitar (be still my heart!). Bill needs to work on matching his mouth to the words; even a "modest" video filmed in a couple of days kind of needs that one crucial element of the guy singing actually looking like he's singing. And Jack, no offense, but the "artistic" out-of-focus stuff is too overused to look like anything other than "oh, this guy's trying to be artistic."

But hey, the two of you threw it together in a couple of days, and it was what, 3 degrees out? Kudos to you for that. And kudos to William for having the prettiest face ever or I wouldn't have a reason to play this back again.....

First day of winter... Third day of non-stop snow

"Right now things are perfect; I don't deserve this." I'm in the middle of reminding myself how amazing Kiros is. I can't decide which song to post. I want to share "Speak Softly" because it feels sort of thematic right now and its sound fits the snowy mood. But "Beautiful" is probably the most amazing song on "A Single Strand." Okay, that's it; you're getting both. And you'd better LISTEN to both. XD






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Ebby does the white window test. Yep, it's sticking, all right. A lot.






My little Derry, dwarfed by the pile of snow from shoveling the driveway like 12 times.









Sweetbitter

An overwhelming number of my favorite people bundled into a single track:




"Bittersweet" sort of embodies how I'm feeling about a few things right now. Snow. My family. Life... and its lack of talking animals and epic clashes of good vs. evil. The usual.

It snowed so bad today that it took us at least half an hour to make it home from Marshall's (it should've been half that), and when we got to the road that my street branches off of, there were some guys pushing cars up the little slope because none of them could make it up. So far at least eight inches of cold, white fairy dust have collected on the tree branches and wrought iron furniture outside.

I am starting to see some of the reasons adults dislike snow. Aside from the perilous roads, there's the issue of shoveling. I don't think I'd mind so much except we have a long, gravel driveway and, oh yeah, I have spaghetti for arm muscles. There's nothing like manual labor to make you resent one of nature's most beautiful mood swings.

For now, though, I'm hunkering down in my chilly little cave of a bedroom after watching two of my favorite movies with two of my favorite people. Horton Hears a Who, if you haven't seen it, is SO not "just for kids." It's got drugs - I mean, fuzzy dandelions - and emo kids in it. Really, with those factors, you can't go wrong.

After that we watched Prince Caspian. I adore fantasy movies like that, but I felt really bad for my sister because she couldn't understand why a little girl coming back to a magical world where trees and animals used to be her friends would try to talk to a bear. I said she just needed to read more fantasy books and use her imagination a little, which for some reason made her kind of mad at me.

Then, when the movie ended, I got all melancholy as I always do at the end of fantasy movies and said to my mom, "I always hate when the adventure has to end and everything has to go back to normal." She looked at me the way she used to when she wanted to talk me out of believing in fairies in sixth grade and said, "Fantasy isn't real, darling."

Well, yeah, but are you saying you don't get sucked into the story? Are you saying you don't suspend your disbelief and start to believe lions really talk? How can you not want that to be real? Le sigh. Apparently I am the only one in this household with a taste for high fantasy. Tragic.

But I am trying to highlight the sweet. Snow is magical. I can't wait to go walking in the fresh, clean, black and white world tomorrow. I should buy film and take pictures. We have storytellers to make up for the things that are impossible in real life, and hey, real life isn't so bad, anyway. In fact, right now it's kind of...

Sweet.

Patterns in the Sound

Here's a batch of poems that I've either revised since I posted them, or else never posted in the first place. I have to send these in to my prof today, along with a self-critique of sorts. There was no length stipulation and I don't know what I'm supposed to talk about. I have a page so far but it's kind of fluffy. Le sigh. Work just needs to be done NOW. At least I'm home, though, and we're expecting up to a foot of snow! Huzzah! I told Boyfriend we're going to build a fort. Forts are the best and I'm not giving him any choice in the matter.

Please give me feedback on these poems! I am not by any means saying these are final drafts and I am open to suggestions or criticism (as long as it's civilly phrased ^_^).

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Stolen word poem (the assignment was to take the last word of each line in an existing poem and write a new poem using those same words at the ends of my lines. This is from Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends," except the title, which is a spin off Frost's "To Earthward." Ah, that poem gives me chills every time....)

“To Peaceward”

There is a place where the freeway ends
and the Pacific Ocean begins,
where the surf froths and crashes white,
the sand sparkles bright
with gold, and anchored earthworms take flight,
origami birds borne away by the wind.

There is a place where the ocean ends and the black
pavement begins. The road once had its bends
through the places where palms and pine trees grow,
and we drove slow.
But now, with one place still to go,
we speed east to where the freeway ends.

The road once had its bends and we drove slow,
the world setting at our backs. Peaceward we go.
We are carved in the sandstone hearts of those we know.
Home is where the freeway ends.

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Diptych in syllabics (pt. I: an inanimate object speaks. pt. II: a response. The syllable pattern is 5-11-4-8-7.)

I. 08/15/08

Hello. I am here
to let you know someone is thinking of you.
He hopes you’re well.
Phase one of boot camp has been hell
but he says he’ll make it through.
Dear friend, I am here
because someone carved out time to write a few
words on a page
in the midst of a loaded day
because he’s thinking of you.

II. Upon Receiving a Letter

Thank God you’re here at
last! I’ve waited all summer to read his scrawl;
this month’s the third
since I last heard from him. I draw
his word quilt tight ‘round my
frame. When he was here,
we sprinted on the sky ‘til breathless; then we sprawled
in the tall grass. . . .

Unstop my pen. I can’t write past,
“Wish you were here. Yours always.”

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Ekphrasis (a poem based on another work of art, in this case, Jim Zingarelli's "Host and Hunger" exhibit. I'm not sure how I feel about the word "dwindling" in the last stanza. Thoughts?)

olivers

There is a posture for
receiving, and they have mastered it – or
it has mastered them, stepped
on their patient fingers, made them slaves.
It has damned them to turn
the millstone, but not
a profit.

Grind the stone; grind.
Grind the stone.
Grind.

Oh, that the sky would rain
manna upon gargoyles, warped by want,
and their twisted, glacial maws!

There is a technique for seeing without
perceiving; we are professionals.
Want is an impatient hackney-carriage driver
that never arrives –

only drives, only
drives.

Oh, that the sky would rain re-
straint upon gargoyles, warped by want,
and our twisted, glacial hearts; that some
one would hear the
everlasting plea &
the dwindling
cry for
more

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17th century imitation and reply (Respond to a poem from the 16th-18th centuries using the same form - number of lines, rhyme scheme, syllables and accents in each line.... This is from Milton's "To the Nightingale.")

To the Wingless Sloth
(the lover and poet, Milton)

O poet! seeking meaning in the fray
of counterclockwise seasons void of thrill,
thou wielder of the mighty, sharpened quill,
thou seekest me when lacking words of prey?
O lover! cause thy hand, bereft, to stay
on my account? Thou hearest not the trills
of evening’s warbling songstress and wait until
a new crescendo swells the faded day?
O squanderer of time, create thy fate!
Dost wish to write? Then take thy pen and try.
Dost wish to love? Then turn thy heart from hate
and fault me not (thou wingless sloth!) who flies;
I nest closer to the earth than thee in wait.
Thy “Muse” and “Love” are smothered by my sky.

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Sacred Poem (anything goes as long as it's about something sacred.)

Abraham Revisited

Here,
in the sprawling shade of tamarisk,
at the fount of shifting sands and stars,
his promise was fulfilled:
A desert rose
spiraled up from the badlands, and I
could only gaze in wonder, laughing –
laughing along
with Sarah and my desert rose.

The sands slipped by,
and after a time God said, “Son,
bring your desert rose to me.”
And I brought him.
He said, “Father, where is the lamb?”
And I, who could not bear to
prune his laughter, eased his mind.

But at the peak we found only our
selves; and the boy saw he
was the lamb, and I saw that
I could not but
stay my hand – and so a
promise was cut
off. God said to
slay my desert rose,
but I could not.

POKEBALL GO!

I can't wait to get on the road for home today! But I have a lot to do first. Packing. Laundry. Delivering a gift to my professor. Checking my mail. Eating as much of my nourishing perishable digestibles as humanly possible so they won't perish in the open meat drawer overnight... er, I mean, so my fridge won't be full of mold when I get back from break. If ANYBODY got the Epic the Man reference, I salute you. XD

So I am quite busy this morning and don't have time for a long post, but I simply HAD to share this link I found on my friend's wall. POKEBALL GO!!

Gonna go pack while listening to techno-screamo.

Sleaping with my eyes wide

Song of the day:



The All American Rejects released their new album, "When the World Comes Down," TODAY, and I'm so obsessed with the single that I'm having a really hard time not buying the whole dang album RIGHT NOW. But Christmas is coming. Take note! This is on my list.

I have to write a press release for tomorrow morning. I always promise myself I won't wait until it's down to the wire. But I've just been blundering, zombie-like, through this past week of not-nearly-as-stressful-as-everyone-else's-finals. And speaking of zombies.... I pre-ordered Isaac Marion's new book, Warm Bodies, today, and you should too!

Anyway, so here I am, the night before the final press release is due, and how much of it have I written? Not a word. Not even a "Media Contact" at the top of the page. Nada. But I have like ten pages of notes from other students and professors about the crucial nature of core philosophy classes, and I think I just found the focus of my piece: they're getting rid of the old core philosophy options, antiquity and modernity, and replacing them with a single, 4-credit core philosophy class. Score!

I wish I could go home tomorrow morning after my pancake final. I need to be elsewhere. I think that's why I'm sleeping so much (and I just tried to spell that "sleaping...." Yeah, it's time for a break.)

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P.S. I just got this word verification thing:

Preggy yog, anyone? I hope this isn't prophetic.... o_O
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11:15: Finally buckled down and finished the press release after watching the fire fighters do their stuff outside. Apparently some kids think it's festive to burn furniture on the quad. No comment. I think it's festive to be done with work, which I nearly am. All I have left to do is a self-critique/reflection for my poetry class. I dunno if I've got another 2-4 pages in me, though. Bring on the bull....

It's snowing! Yaysnowdance! *(>^_^)> <(^_^)> <(^_^<)*

~ A snowflake on your cheek would make this Christmas so beautiful. ~

Boredom begone! Pt. VI

Schneckleface! my loverrrrrrr! (Can I still make those kind of jokes? ...Yes. Yes I can. XD)
1. There was a girl named Schneckleface who thought he was cute, but she bubbled fuzzy dandelions.
2. "Classifieds" always makes me think of you because you love it so much.
3. Jelly Beans. I have no idea why.
4. "Whose tiny bra is this? ...This is Gabe Saporta."
5. It was the very beginning of my first year at college and you were knitting in your room by yourself when I walked by. It made me sad so I went and said hi to you.
6. Dag, I was totally gonna put a teddy bear for you but now it looks like I'm copying. But you're so dang cuddly! (And I probably remind you of a giraffe because of the way I eat ice cream.)
7. How the heck do you make paper stars so fast...?
8. Even when you have good reason to be sad or stressed, you always find something to smile or giggle about.

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Weirdest December EVER. It's 63 degrees out today. I took a long walk around Beaver Pond. Then it got windy and cloudy. No rain so far, but we'll see - I just hope it comes before the temperature drops, or else that the temperature drops all the way to 30 before the rain. Either way works. =D

I had this dream last night that my family was at church. A tree had fallen over and my dad was trying to put it back up. All the leaves were beautiful, vibrant colors, the sort of colors that belong on Cobra fans, not on trees. I was collecting them. It was a good dream until it cut to a scene in my kitchen. Someone was there who shouldn't have been there. I knew who it was, but he was out of context and I didn't want him there, so I got angry, swore at him, and woke myself up. Bummer.

I have a "final" at 6. My tutoring class is meeting to finish discussing our research papers over pizza. Why do all of my finals involve eating fatty foods??? This is GREAT!

Boredom begone! Pt. V

Carlydee (this is going to be difficult because I don't actually know you.... but here goes ^_^)
1. You love Mondayeyes like it's your second family.
2. Anything by TAI... And also Twilight because of that dialogue you wrote between Edward, Harry Potter, and some other people.
3. Carrots.
4. The screaming monkeys of fire and brimstone will wreak havoc on your sanity!!
5. Reading one of your poems on Mondayeyes and thinking you were the first person with real talent I'd come across on that forum.
6. A puppy.
7. How do you always come up with just the right image when you write poetry? I'm so jealousssss.
8. You seem like a very passionate person who loves to have fun.
9. My turn.

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^ I made a Christmas present for Schneckleface. Wonder what it'll be....


^ Whatever it is, it's "sexcellent" and "special."


^ It's..... GABE SAPORTA, NOW WITH QUADRUPLE LIGHT SABER ACTION!!!

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Song of the Day:
Brighten - Merry Christmas Baby

Boredom begone! Pt. IV

For Wanda because she asked me.
1. You've never been killed.
2. Wayne's World (I don't know why except that we watched it together.... and sort of modeled Rad World after it...)
3. tapioca pearls.
4. I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE TO THE DEATH OVER BILLVY! or, Guard your Pikachu. We have too many inside jokes.
5. Second grade. I went over your house and I wanted to draw pictures with you but you didn't want to waste the paper. XD
6. Hobbes.
7. Something I've ALWAYS wondered? Like... since second grade??? Uhhh. Why do you love the Beatles so much? Pfft, that was a stupid question. Oh well.
8. I love how we are mutually there to pick each other up when we're down, and how we'll be silly fangirls forever no matter how old we get.
9. My turn!

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From Wanda because she's too stubborn to get a blog of her own XD (but I love her anyway.)
1. You're dating a guy that, were he animated, would be Howl as he looked in the beginning of Howl's Moving Castle.
2. Lovely Complex, anything by Relient K or Switchfoot, lots of other songs I'm sure.
3. What do you call it? Ba-freakin'-nana bread?
4. Fatal ice gets of freed she needs and rewind I rest raits like these.
5. Probably the same as yours haha.
6. A Pokemon with boundless energy and cheeriness with a little emo thrown in.
7. Why do you never have a shortage of potential boyfriends?
8. "Our bond of mutual weirdness is a beautiful thing XD". You drew amazing amazing unforgettable pictures on my birthday quiz. Your quiz was among my favorite souvenirs of the night (distant second is Patrick's quiz; he thinks I have 3 eyebrows and that my middle name is Thompson and likes my insane Singstar skills). Anyway...you are always available for much needed emotional support...as MCS says "you hold me down".
9. You've already done me. OoOo~that sounded dirty!

Boredom begone! Pt. III

My darling Jenniferin!
1. You can do a mean caramel dance.
2. Zephyr, or any of those songs I gave you on that mix - Mr. Wonderful, Bumblebee. Haha.
3. Turnips.
4. HIYAA MOUSTACHE!!
5. ^ Same as above. XD
6. A dancing hamster? I don't know. You don't really make me think of an animal, lol.
7. How are you so good at not caring what people think of you? That is so rad.
8. I know you've always got my back - and thank God for that!!
9. Your turn!

---------------------------

I lost one of my favorite earrings. It's a little silver wing if anyone comes across it. Isn't it tragic how we only ever lose our favorite earrings? =(

I baked Christmas presents today! I wish I had a Santa hat to wear while I deliver them. Tie Dye Brian said he'd get me one but I think he was kidding. I hope.

In other news, Boyfriend and I officially decided we're together. Happyhappyhappy! Now I REALLY can't wait to go home. But this does leave me with the perplexing question of what does one give a boyfriend for Christmas...?

Boredom begone! Pt. II

Okay, The Pantsless One first because I got it from her.
1. You can get lost like nobody's business... but that's okay because it leads to adventures. ^_^
2. Start Wearing Purple, of course, on account of we listen to it every time you, me and Ravin do anything remotely epic. Such as going to Warped '05 and playing it until my poor mother wanted to kill herself. XD
3. STEAK. Which would've been better if you were still a veggo like me.
4. "you're invited to wear your purple jeans and spoon with me and my friends. see you there."
5. Me running all over the place screaming ring around the rosy at the ballet studio while you ate chips or something and stared at me like I belonged in the loony bin (which I did. And still do.)
6. A lion... because you has a mane, though it's not nearly as bad as it used to be when people would lose stuff in it....
7. Did you ever know that you're my hero?
8. If I ever want to laugh until my stomach hurts, I know who to go to. In high school I often enjoyed vicariously taking part in the drama of your Catholic school girl life since my life was pretty lamesauce. XD

Katiekins (a.k.a. Roomie)!
1. You're very studious and people don't get to see the silly side of you very often, but I am blessed to live with you and get to have fun laughing with you all the time!
2. HEY MR. DJ! YOU GOTTA PUT A RECORD ON, YEAH!
3. Ummm.... A cupcake.
4. "Your fallopian tube turned into a dragon man!"
5. Bumping into you in the hallway while my family was helping me move in. I wish I had a more exciting story than that.
6. A kitten because you're adorable and silly and I can't help but love you to death.
7. How do you maintain your sanity, working as hard as you do? You have a hardcore work ethic, girly!
8. You're a very grounded individual, but you balance yourself out with the fun side that likes to put up Christmas lights and make paper snowflakes.
9. My turn!!

Angry Frodo:
1. It was nice meeting you, even if you are my least favorite kind of vegetable...
2. Probs something by Dragonforce.
3. RAISINS!
4. "I would be a bad Pez dispenser because my jaw locks."
5. After the Sweaty Tooth show when you were like "I'm inventing an anime club!!"
6. Uhh... Zazu from the Lion King.
7. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE SKA MUSIC???
8. You have ridiculously epic dreams ALL THE TIME.
9. My turn.

NEEEEEEEWWW PHOOOONNNE!

It's pink and slidey and I loves it. =D

Boredom begone!

If you comment with your name:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a food substance to throw at you in the school cafeteria.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
(if possible. If not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

I'm going to Wanda's tonight. It's her birthday. I wish I had something to wrap her neon striped Hello Kitty knee socks in, mais alas, all I have is the Build a Bear bag from my date with Roomie last night.

So THIS is why I went through five printers last year...



I hope this makes you giggle as much as it made me giggle.

Again, I am extremely, extremely sorry for the profanity last night. Moving right along now. Roomie and I went out to Build-a-Bear for a little roomie Christmas funtime and we made each other plushies! Mine is a fuzzy teddy bear named Bear and hers is a penguin named Chubbie.

Last night I also went to the best Sweaty Tooth Madmen (improv) show I've seen to date. I know I say that every time, but that's because it's TRUE every time. They just keep outdoing themselves. The sounds they make, and the faces they make... They are precisely the right kind of hilarious to make me laugh until I cry.

There were Christmas lights and a pretty little tree decorating the stage. Both got incorporated into the show as props. The lights started falling down during a sketch about a couple bickering over putting up Christmas lights, so the two of them ran over and pulled the lights completely off the wall and said they were stealing them from the neighbors (and the neighbors have complained damn near every night).

I got a call from my dad this morning. Or was it afternoon? It might have been afternoon by then. I couldn't tell because I went back to bed after I got my omelette this morning. Anyway, we had a good conversation and that made me happy. I'm excited to go pick out my new phone with him soon. That makes it sound like I only keep around to buy me things, but really, we've been on excellent terms lately. I think me being away at school has made it possible for us to be a bit more like equals or friends, though of course he's still my father and the first question he asks any guy that crosses the threshold of our house will always be, "what are you going to do with your life?" ^_^

I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT.




ALL I COULD DO WAS CLOSE MY EYES
AND CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE
CAUSE YOU DON'T FUCKING LISTEN
WHEN I'M AROUND

-----------------------------------
Sorry for the profanity. At least it wasn't a homicide.

Kthxbye.

The Moon is a Magnet (photos)









*Pictures taken Monday, December 1, 2008.

I has a Viking.

Well, today my promotional campaign team presented our marketing strategies to the rest of my media writing class. We got a great response and the class had some excellent suggestions for our client, Advocates for a Sustainable Future. That's the end, really. That promo campaign was our final. All that's left is writing one last press release and turning it in next Wednesday morning... at the professor's house... while she feeds us pancakes. ^_^

I'm in the writing center til four. I'm still less than comfortable with tutoring scenarios, but fortunately I've mostly worked with pretty competent writers who are open to suggestions and dialogue on their papers. I can't wait to take a nap, though. My womb hurts. Damn my ovaries.

Speaking of me being menstrual and psychotic... dag, yo. You should have seen me last night. I was so pissed off at stuff that normally only pisses me off a little. As much as I didn't want to venture out into the frigid New England cold (it was only 20 degrees out yesterday), I couldn't sit still at my desk a second longer, so I donned my gym gear and took off for the Bennett Center to work out. Yes, me, working out. I was that pissed.

I listened to screamo while running around the track. I ran until I couldn't run anymore (which didn't take too long since I'm horribly out of shape); then I walked until my muscles got bored of doing the same thing over and over; then I stretched and did crunches until I couldn't do another sit up. After an hour and a half, I decided that, since I was more or less paralyzed by then, I should probably stop and go finish up the campaign.

I mentioned to Not-Yet-Boyfriend that stuff was really getting to me, and he said, "It's Viking time!" Which I'm fairly certain is a threat.

Thanks for that. <3

Snowy with a high of 32

"It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive."

Reasons I am happy to be alive:

- I had a fantastic time on my date last night. For the record, though, Twilight is a pretty awful movie. Awful acting, plus some of the camera work really aggravated me/made me dizzy. And as Not-Yet-Boyfriend pointed out, the special effects left a lot to be desired. Anyway, let's get back to reasons I'm happy.

- Driving around, all the houses have Christmas lights twinkling on the trees. And I'm sure that I've not seen the Christmas lights this bright before.

- I woke up this morning and the skylight was blanketed with snow! I call it the white window test. It's how I know the snow is sticking. It's always nice to look out the window and see those very first few flakes of snow. Later on, we can go outside and create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky.

- The bare trees don't look so naked now in their robes of white.

- Now that it's snowed and we have a beautiful evergreen sparkling in our living room, I feel that it is totally acceptable for me to blast my holiday playlist in the car.

- The only thing that makes me happier than Relient K's old-skool punk-rock Christmas album, "Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hand," is their cover of "Sleigh Ride." When Megs and I saw them last year, they played that song and some random guys we'd befriended and started a mosh pit with insisted that we "slow mosh" to it. Soooo imagine a slow-motion mosh pit to this:


- I also feel that it is totally acceptable for me to laugh my head off listening to "Sleigh Ride" alone in my car while all the drivers around me wonder if I'm completely nuts. The answer is yes; yes I am.

And you know what?

I am okay with that. ^_^

Deck the halls

We put up the Christmas tree today. It was a little sad because my dad had to be at work and wasn't here to help us pick one out, or to put up his golfer ornament after everything else was finished, which is the tradition. Generally he gets the tree standing and leaves the decorating to the rest of us. But we girls got the tree inside and standing up just fine, thank you, and it looks lovely and cheerful and smells delightfully of Christmastime. And we have mistletoe.... ^_~



For the record, I really want to go WASSAILING this year. But I don't think people really do that nowadays. I also am fairly certain that wassail has rum or something in it so yeah. I just really like the word. XD

Prosetry!

As promised: Random prosetry!! (That's prose/poetry, which is a term I coined after writing this hybrid.) In other news, happy Saturday. Very happy indeed. Good night, moon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing fits right anymore. My jeans are sagging. My feet are dragging. I’ve got my face to the floor, peering in between the boards, and I spy what you’re thinking.

Now my key won’t fit the lock. I can’t get my sneakers off. I’ve grown longer than my bed. My brain is bigger than my head. The vast white sky overwhelms my tiny space of sadness and I am still trying to tack the right words to the corkboard with a pushpin that’s bigger than I am.

Straining through my teeth, the truth got caught. Can you hold me close enough to read my thoughts? I’m a liar; thank your stars I never hold a job for long. A new day will dawn and maybe this won’t feel so wrong. I’ll tilt my head and throw one back, scrap the Kleenex for a laugh. I’ll recall a well-worn melody that doesn’t taste like coffee beans, a song that doesn’t steal my sleep.

I’m awaiting such a day when my eyes will open to the spangled way the freckles spark across the starry host. ‘Til then I am threadbare, hackneyed, right down to the kernel of me: so this is what it means to be a ghost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

p.s. This needs a title. Ideas?

Stuck in a Moment

Happy Friday! I'm stoked it's finally here. I'm heading out for home as soon as I finish babysitting, so probably around four-ish, to see my beautiful, talented little sister in her high school play. Tomorrow we're putting up the Christmas tree. I love Christmastime! Yesterday I made cookies with some girls on my floor and ate way more than was probably healthy. Then my roomie and I decorated for the season.







I'm on a random U2 kick today. I don't know what sparked it. I've always thought U2 was great morning music, but it's clearly not morning anymore and I'm still listening, so.... *shrug*



Expect that prose thingy tomorrow. I think this post is long enough.

...and I like keeping y'alls in suspense. ^_^

Good morning, starshine!

I slept 10 1/2 hours last night and it was fabulous. I think I went to bed before visitation hours even ended, and I'm pretty sure I've NEVER done that. And good news: I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. No headache + I can breathe through my nose = I'm happy. Even the amount of work I have to do seems less intimidating than it did earlier in the week. I wrote something like a page and a half (single-spaced) of my story last night, finished my research paper (except for the works cited page), and collected lots of good information for the press release I need to have by one today.

I have a little bit of prose that I'll probably post tomorrow or the day after. Don't get too excited; it's barely a third of a page, but I like it a lot and I'm looking forward to sharing it.

Yesterday's quote of the day (courtesy of me, Roomie, and Taz):
"Don't hock a loogie while you're making out!"

That's some profound dating advice there, folks. Make note of it.

ZOMG ALIENS!!1!

I had an eventful night of dreaming last night. I remember a snippet of something where I was driving and TAI...'s new single, Winter Passing, was on the radio. But what I dreamed later was way more epic, I promise.

I dreamed my good friends in Philmont were playing a show nearby and I was going with a few friends. When we got there, it was a tiny little venue like the place where I saw Kiros with the Spontaneous Concert Enthusiast. There wasn't much of a crowd at first but it quickly filled up. It was great because everyone was so into the show and the guys played really well! Then the entire crowd started a meat grinder or something and I got swept up really close to the stage and said hi to Scott, who remembered me (I hope, since they lived at my house for a day), so I jumped up on stage to give them all hugs.

Meanwhile, there were some random spoil sports trying to get people to pay attention to them and stop enjoying the music, but to no avail. Then the thing they were trying to warn us about happened: all these creatures suddenly invaded. Almost everyone escaped and hid in a safe room somewhere, but me and a few others were left to fight the monsters. Eventually we won. For some reason there was a lady with a gun outside the window and I noticed she was aiming for me just in time to drop to the ground. I don't really know where she went after that, but I know she spent a long time trying to get me and I just kept dancing out of range too quickly for her to actually shoot at me.

I guess time must have rewound after that, because it was before the invasion, before the show, and I was with one of the invaders while he showed me how they'd been dismantling the wall around the place and how they were going to break in. As soon as I got a chance, I went inside to warn everyone. It was like that movie Vantage Point - the same thing was happening, but I was seeing it from a different perspective. I realized how stupid I'd been to ignore the people trying to warn me while I'd been the one enjoying the music.

I went around trying to find someone who would listen to me. There was a pool room behind where the concert was happening, and apparently upstairs was where I lived. My dad was there, acting very much like he would in real life. He had all these random theories and strategies for keeping out the invaders. I guess they had to invade at a specific time, so he went around changing all the clocks in the house to different times and making their numbers bigger and brighter so the creatures wouldn't know when to come in. He also had this fan he kept trying to turn on, and I kept getting mad at him because I knew we wouldn't hear them come in if the fan was on.

Then I started getting text messages from my mom and this random guy who was there, saying that the monsters had gotten in; where was I and how could I not have heard them come? But then instead of going to fight, I got together all our supplies and brought them out to the car so we could make a fast getaway. I had invisible keys, apparently, and also an invisible bike that I was riding back to the house after the car was packed. The keys actually opened the car and the bike actually made me go faster, even though I had to make the sounds for them to work - like I had to make the trunk-opening sound myself or it wouldn't work.

I bumped into my family on the way back, and they were all safe, but for some reason I kept riding. Maybe there were still monsters left to slay. I don't know. I woke up after that and realized my alarm was supposed to have gone off 25 minutes ago. Damn my iPod alarm! It always does this to me!!

Oh, there was also a part of the dream that was lucid; all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the realization hit me that I was dreaming. I didn't do any reality checks, and it didn't scare me or startle me - it was just like, oh, that's right, this isn't real. Then I started trying to make stuff happen, and I definitely made people do stuff and it was definitely awesome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Song of the Day:
new from TAI...

Masochism at its finest

Do you want the definition of screwing oneself over? Remember how bad Tuesdays suck for me? Well, something possessed me to sign up for a double shift in the writing center tonight AND book a tutorial with my professor during the only free hour of my day. And the rotten cherry on top of the whole spoiled sundae is that I have to miss the tree lighting tonight because it happens during my applied comm class. Tragic! Christmas lights are my favorite.

And tomorrow's going to be sucky, too; I have this group project that we haven't really worked on and so I'm going to have to write a press release, create a logo, and design a poster tomorrow, in between trying to compensate for lack of going to chapel EVER, babysitting three hours, and going to the writing center about my research paper, which HAS to happen tomorrow or I get points off the final paper. And I just realized I haven't logged a single hour of my lab time for my applied comm class. See, what did I tell you: screwed.

Ranting aside... the sun is shining and the world is beautiful, and I am happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In true twelve-days-of-Christmas fashion, here is a re-cap of the past month, since it was notable in a whole bunch of different ways:

Wrote 12 paragraphs of my epic fantasy story,
Spent $11 on half a tank of gas,
Only had 10 days of classes,
Discovered 9 hours of sleep is MORE than enough,
Played 8 holes of disc golf,
Made it to 7 chapels,
Left school at 6AM to shoot a movie,
Ate 5 carnivorous meals,
Went to 4 concerts,
Chilled with 3 bands,
Spooned 2 guys, and
Broke 1 heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Song of the day:

One day, robots will cry.

I feel like this whole break is shaping up to be eating and sleeping. If my family didn't make so much noise, I'd probably just sleep through the whole thing. At any rate it would be entertaining; I had a lot of dreams last night. First I dreamed I was seeing Kiros, but half the band had left and the other half looked like completely different people and I didn't recognize them. Then I dreamed I was a Pokemon trainer and somehow I got pushed into a raging river or something and got hurt pretty bad. Then I dreamed my teeth were falling out, which is positively the worst kind of dream to have. Then I dreamed I was spooning with this guy I've met like one time, and it was really random but I was totally cool with it. I think that's it. I kept waking up in the middle of stuff because my head was cold and my covers kept coming off. Brr. I'm going to sit in front of the fire now and try to be a little more excited about life.

It kind of bothers me how early Christmas starts. Don't get me wrong, the Christmas season is one of my favorite times of year. I love all the twinkling lights and I love how happy everybody is. Walking around the streets is like walking around Go-Co - you can talk to anyone and you'll get a smile or a laugh, whether you've ever met them or not. But seriously, the stores have been playing Christmas music for two weeks already. Don't wear it out, people.

It sickens me how the materialism of the season just gets worse and worse every year. This year I'm trying not to ask for a lot of things I don't need. I need a new phone, for instance, and socks that don't have holes in them. But I'm refraining from asking for a new iPod, even though mine fails, because at least it still plays music. I'm not asking for clothes or CDs, either. I could go for tickets to see Reel Big Fish at the Palladium in January, though... *hint hint* Yeah, but the best price I can find is $75. Boo.

Ok. La-la-la-laundry time, then left-overs. Routine. Blah. I hate predictability.

Spoonage?!

Why is my room so effing cold??? I'd get as much warmth sleeping out in my car... with the heater off. Anybody up for spooning...?

I went to brunch with Wanda today and afterward we went in search of a cafe that served steamers. We found one downtown and I got the best mint chocolate steamer I've ever had. Then we jammed a little and watched some Lovely Complex, which is pretty much the most adorable show ever except for maybe My Neighbor Totoro (but that's a movie, not a show). I've been playing my bass a lot lately. I wish I was in a band so I'd have more motivation to practice. Oh, and so I'd have a good excuse to travel across the country in a van. ^_^

Then my mom made me come home to see my sister and then go visit my grandpa. I figured we were supposed to spend quality time or something but we just watched Oprah for like an hour, which was painfully boring and I wished I'd stuck around at Wanda's and played bass some more. I painted my nails fluorescent pink and worked on my string project to pass the time. But then my mommy made me grilled cheese with tomato in it, and the cheese was the right color (i.e. not orange like the stuff in Lane), and all was forgiven.

I watched Wall-E with Ash and his family tonight. Cutest movie ever!! Especially from the perspective of a comm major who's gone through the process of telling a story without dialog. Not that Wall-E had NO dialog, but the parts that didn't have it, didn't need it, and even the parts that had it told the story very visually. I guess once you get into film this is how you start to think about all movies without even trying. Haha.

Then Ash and I went to visit Chaaz, who didn't say much because he was busy slaying zombies. I'm pretty sure the only information we actually exchanged was that I do not, in fact, have a boyfriend at school, thank you very much for asking. Now I'm listening to some lovely acoustic music to try and purge my mind of the rather gruesome thought of zombies spawning and eating people. And still working on not freezing. I think I'll try and sleep now; it's probably my warmest option. If I start having zombie nightmares... I just have to remember to count my fingers.....

Dismantle. Repair.

I'm home. I wasn't going to leave til tomorrow, but I didn't feel like sitting still. I still don't feel like sitting still. I'm very restless and discontent. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be with other people, and the people I want to be with the most are the hardest to pin down.

On the bright side, I got to see Shmoe tonight! It felt so normal for him to be there, and I can't explain why; even when he was going to Go-Co last year, it wasn't like we hung out all the time. But somehow it was like he never left. We made pizza at his sister's apartment and I brought peanut butter brownies. I bring brownies to almost everything, and if not brownies, then ba-freakin-nana awesome bread or seven-layer dip. Pretty much I buy people's friendship with food. Ahaha, I hope that's not actually true. I just really like feeding people.

Anyway, after that we went to the Prancing Pony, which is the new "tavern" on campus. It's got a lovely atmosphere and really feels like the old-time pub from Lord of the Rings. There are only two problems. One, it's not actually called "the Prancing Pony," although all the cool kids call it that. It's actually named after our donor's cat, Chester, and when some kids decided to be funny and steal the "Chester's Place" sign, our donor got pissed and threatened to withdraw funding. Eek. The other problem is that it's not even a real tavern because they don't serve alcohol. I'm not saying I'd drink it, even if I was of age. But come on, people. As my poetry professor said one class, "Why don't they get a fake brothel on campus, too?"

I digress again. After the tavern, we went to Claymore, where a friend of Shmoe's and his sister's gave them free drinks. Good stuff. Claymore is where most of my meal points go these days. Heh. Throughout all of this, the crowd of people with us was dwindling until it was just me and Shmoe. We walked around and visited some people in Wilson and Rider. One of Shmoe's friends in Rider has covered his entire wall with bottle caps. It looks fantastic and I kind of want to cover my bedroom door with bottle caps so I can pretend I'm half as awesome as this kid.

A little before 10, Shmoe and his sister left for home and I decided to do the same. And here I am, ready for the next thing. I'm ready for another concert. The more you go to, the worse the withdrawal symptoms get. Ravin and I might go see Cobra Starship on Friday. That would rule. Unless it's all psychotic little girls like last time. Ugh.

Overall it was a good night. It was great to finally see Shmoe again. So why do I feel so discontent, like something just isn't right? Like I'm not doing anything with my time or with my life, and I never have anything to show for the things I bother investing in, and I feel like I'm constantly dismantling things and relationships and other people and myself without having any clue how to repair them.

Wow, emo shpiel. Sorry to dump that on you. I get this way every so often and you can't hold it against me; I'm a woman.

Sundae Sunday

After writing an awful draft of my paper about writer's block, I decided to follow the advice I'd researched and I'm being a lot more productive with this draft than the last one. I wrote the first one the way I play disc golf... incrementally. And inefficiently.

Razzmatazz and I are going to Bugaboo Creek for dinner tonight because I've got a coupon that'll expire if I don't use it today. I'm stoked for pizookie!! For those of you who are unenlightened in the realm of pizza cookies, pizookie is a big brownie-like cookie made and served hot in a skillet with vanilla ice cream melting all over the top. And I start to melt a little inside just thinking about it. Mmmmm....

I'm getting a little wanderlusty. This morning, driving back from church, I realized how badly I want to see mountains right now. New Hampshire would be okay, I guess, but I really want to see big purple mountains like the Colorado Rockies. And I also got this random urge to drive to Rockport and watch the sun come up again. I'd probably freeze, of course. But it would be so beautiful!

Okay, back to that paper. And for the record, I think Bronx Mowgli Wentz is possibly the worst name contrived by mankind thus far, except for maybe "Xiotil."

----------------------------------
Currently listening: Muse - "Origin of Symmetry"

Everything is always for the band.

This is the second update I promised earlier this week. You see? I keep my word (usually ^_^).

The Spontaneous Concert Enthusiast called me up the other day around noon to ask if I wanted to go to a show that night, and of course, that's an offer I can't refuse, even if I don't know the band. So we drove about an hour to this sweet-in-a-really-tacky-way little venue to see a band called Kiros.

Except when we got there, the place was still closed. The doors were supposed to have opened, but even the bands hadn't gotten inside yet. SCE sort of knew the guys in Kiros from the time he met them at Soulfest and he introduced me to a couple of them.

Finally someone opened the place and we helped unload the equipment from the trailer. I was freezing because I never bring anything into concerts, so I'd left my coat in SCE's car and was toting equipment wearing just a t-shirt. Well I mean, I obviously had pants on. But it was still really cold. Then Neil, who plays guitar for Kiros, let me borrow his gloves, which were big enough for me to fit both hands in one glove and looked positively ridiculous on me. So, naturally, I wore them all night and even threatened never to give them back.

SCE and I talked to Kiros a bit more while the other bands set up and played. The first thing Ryan (also guitar) said to me - and the only thing he kept saying to me all night - was that I smelled like poop. He even wrote it on the poster he signed for me. But I think I talked to Neil the most. And at least he knew how to be a nice person (i.e. he wrote on my poster that I smelled good ^_^). Not that I had a problem with Ryan being a goofball. Hello, think about the guys I hang out with at home....

The first couple sets were okay. Nothing spectacular musically, and the crowd was really tiny - like maybe 50 people? I'm bad at estimating. Anyway, SCE and a couple other people got the semblance of a mosh pit going (if 3-5 people can be considered a mosh pit) and I joined in. Because there was so much space to run around, we were going pretty fast and it was scary when we actually collided with each other. But really flipping awesome.

Kiros' set was good times. Ryan started by lighting Tyler's cymbals on fire, which created a massive fireball when he started playing. And the songs were downright catchy regardless of whether I could sing along, although Barry, the lead singer, taught us newbies some of the words so we could join in.

SCE and I helped Kiros pack out after the show. At this point, it was like half an hour to SCE's birthday and he used that fact to his advantage by inviting the guys to fast food after the show. So when we finally left around midnight, Neil came with us in SCE's car and we followed the van. But Wendy's was closed, and so was McDonald's, so we wound up at Taco Bell.

Hi, I'm a vegetarian. At least at Mickey's I could've gotten a fake-shake (they don't use real milk, I'm told). Neil recommended the apple empanada so I got that and cheese quesadillas. Then we all squished into the back of the van to eat.

Tyler Wells, drummer for Kiros, after a midnight Taco Bell run.
Hehe, Tyler's face in this one....

Barry MacKichan, singer for Kiros, gives my friend Eli a birthday hug.
Barry gives SCE a birthday hug.

Barry tried to pretend like some brownies they had in the van were actually for SCE's birthday, but they were totally sketchy brownies. I have a feeling they left out the vegetable oil or some other crucial ingredient that boys wouldn't understand the importance of. I promised to make them amazingtastic brownies someday. (If I'm going to make a habit of keeping my word, I should probably not make promises that aren't easy to keep...)

Ryan Guerra, guitarist for Kiros, made birthday brownies for Eli.
Ryan with the brownies.

Barry MacKichan with Eli's birthday brownies after we went to Taco Bell.
Barry tries to carve SCE's name into the brownies.

After we'd all eaten and enjoyed a few good laughs at ridiculous names we made up for tours (such as "The Velocirap-tour"), it was time to go. I was having so much fun I would've stayed all night, but by then it was probably around 1:30AM and we had at least an hour's drive back to school. I totally fell asleep on the ride back. I think I even snored a little, which always happens when I fall asleep sitting up. How embarrassing. ^_~

Priceless quotes:
"So when I turned seven, she turned... existing." (Neil talking about my sister, who has the same birthday as him.)
"You smell like poop." (Ryan)
"Tour baby! We're taking your baby on tour with us!!" (Neil)
"Come on! Give me a high five!" (Ryan, chasing a little girl around trying to get her to give him a high five. But Neil told her not to, and she wouldn't even look at Ryan after that.)
"I'm not gay; I'm just in a band." (Neil)
"Oh! Excuse me for interrupting myself with that awesome fart." (Neil)
"The Rugrats Rep-tour!!" (Barry)
"The... God is our Lord and Crea-tour!" (Ryan)
Me: Can I have a sip of your soda?
Neil: Only if you call it by its proper name. Say "pop."
Me: Okay, can I have a sip of your pop?
Neil: Sure!

When you dream about dyeing...

I dreamed I was dyeing my hair purple. And not just a little bit of it, like I have before; I mean ALL of it. And as I was doing it, I kept thinking, "I'm going home for Thanksgiving in four days. This is such a bad idea. It'll never wash out by then...."

That's funny, it's spelled just like the word ESCAPE!

I had a weird dream this morning when I decided I didn't want to get up just yet and snuggled back up under the covers. (Best decision I've made all day... it's flippin' cold outside!)

I was at some sort of institution. I don't know what or where it was or why I was in there, but it was a bad place. I never saw what they did but I was terrified they'd find me and do whatever it was to ME.

I had a friend (for some reason I think it was Eva), and she and I were exploring the place trying to find a way out. But we kept getting caught and sent back.

Then everybody was outside for something. The place looked suspiciously like a school from the outside. Eva and I slipped away in the dark to the parking lot. I must have gone there willingly to begin with because my car was there, unlocked, with the keys on the seat and all the google maps directions I've printed recently littering the floor by the passenger seat.

But we had been followed, and as we were trying to get into the car, a security guy came out of nowhere to deter us. I was halfway in the car and not gonna let this dude stop me from getting away. Eva was in the passenger seat and the guy was just focused on stopping me from getting in the car. I shut the door; he pulled it open; I shut it again. We went back and forth like this until I managed to lock the door, which kept him out. We were free.

Then it jumped to a small, touristy kind of town. I didn't have the car anymore and I was with a different friend, I think Chaaz. We were on scooters, trying to find this guy's house because he would be able to help us. I'm not sure what we needed help with; I guess maybe evading the people running the institution. Or maybe this dream was completely unrelated. I'm usually running from someone in my dreams.

And yeah, that's it. Apparently all that took well over an hour and I managed to sleep well past eleven. Shooooot. At least my class wasn't until 1:15 today. =)

YEAH, I'm a scene kid. What of it?

Okay, update time. This one'll be kind of long because I actually have a life this week.

Number One:

I went to a FREE Mae show at Wanda's school. Beforehand we ate dinner at one of her friends' apartments. It was really yummy - rice, fish, curry (which I couldn't have because it had chicken in it), and an eggy-tomatoey thing that was absolutely heavenly. Dinner took a lot longer than we thought and we were sure we wouldn't get to the venue in time, but the doors opened later than they were supposed to and we got there in plenty of time.

The place was TINY; it was a Starbucks with a little stage area toward the back - not a whole lot bigger than your average coffee shop. We were right on top of the stage the whole show, quite literally - I had one foot resting on the stage and was leaning on the speakers.

Me sitting on the stage with Jacob Marshall (of Mae)'s Singularity drumset in the background.
Me sitting on the stage with Jacob's shmexy drum set in the background.

I got a very pleasant surprise when I saw that Mark, the bassist who left the band in summer '07 because he got married, had returned!! He was always sort of my favorite. He was so pretty, but mysterious. He played his bass in the shadows and didn't show up in the podcasts. If he did, it was with the whole group and he never said anything. In fact, I don't know if I'd ever heard his voice until that night. But surprisingly, he was grinning the whole show, clearly having the time of his life as he cracked jokes on stage and slapped Zach (guitar)'s butt while Zach was adjusting equipment. I figured he must have been really happy with his marriage and thought, 'good for him.'

Mae's Mark Padgett (bass), Jacob Marshall (drums), and Zach Gehring (guitar) play at Northeastern University, November 2008.
Mark, Jacob, and Zach

The show was good times. They played a ton of songs off their first album, Destination: Beautiful, including "Soundtrack to our Movie," "All Deliberate Speed," and one I never expected to hear live, "Skyline Drive." They also played "Countdown," which was my first favorite song off The Everglow because it reminded me of wanting to get the heck out of my podunk little town. AND they played the totally-adorable "Just Let Go" off Singularity, their newest album. It's a falling-in-love song so naturally I'm a sucker for it.

Mae guitarists Zach Gehring and Dave Elkins adjust their effects pedals.
Zach, Dave, and New Rob

When the show ended, Mark was getting off the stage and he steadied himself on my arm, so I seized the opportunity and stopped him for a second to ask when he'd joined back up. "I'm not here," he told me conspiratorially. "I'm a ghost." Grinning the whole time. And smelling of alcohol. Dag, that explained a lot, I guess. I said I would like to take a picture with him even though he was only a ghost.

Me with Mae's former bassist, Mark Padgett, and Rob the interim keyboardist, after they played at Northeastern University in Boston.
Me with Mark, and new Rob being a goof in the background.

Then Mark was talking about how he was exhausted beyond all reason, and anything we said, he'd probably be like "yeahh! Good idea!" So, jokingly, since I knew he was already married, I nudged him and said, "Hey Mark, wanna get married sometime?" He was like, "There's only one problem with that idea..." and made a big show of pulling out his wedding ring.

Then he went on to show us how he'd burned off a bunch of hair on his arm with an accidental fireball he caused while repairing equipment (ADD much?), and the topic would've been dropped, except that as I went around talking to the other guys and getting pictures with them, he kept coming up to me and saying random stuff. He was one of those people who can't just, like, come up and talk to you; he's got to get your attention by touching your arm or your shoulder or like putting his arm around you. Maybe that was the booze talking, or maybe I just got hit on by a rock star. XD

He kept telling me my glasses were cool. The second time, he was wearing glasses too, so I made him switch with me and then he made fun of how blind I was.

Me with Rob, the interim keyboardist for Mae, after their show at Northeastern University in Boston.
Me with New Rob, who replaced Old-Asian-Rob on keys.

A bunch of us with Zach Gehring, guitarist for Mae, after their show at Northeastern University in Boston.
Everyone with Zach (guitar)

Me with Mae singer Dave Elkins after the show at Northeastern University's night club, After Hours.
Me with Dave (vocals and guitar)

I talked to Jacob (drums) for a really long time. He remembered some discs I gave them of pictures of Mark and Rob when both left the band last summer. He also remembered my story about missing Relient K and then seeing Mae at the Warped Tour in '05 and how their set made it all worthwhile.

Me with Jacob Marshall, drummer for Mae, at the After Hours club at Northeastern University.

Mark came over again after that and Jacob went to pack up his gear. Then I realized I'd forgotten to ask about the whole "multi-sensory aesthetic experience" theory their name comes from. I knew one of the guys in the band had come up with the theory, but I didn't know which one. Mark told me I should ask Jacob about it, so I jumped up on stage and talked to him about it for a really long time.

Turns out the idea derives from the two years of intense research he did on my favorite condition ever, synaesthesia. He told me the idea of the band was to recreate a synaesthetic experience for non-synaesthetes, hence the random videos they had playing behind them during the set. I think they should find a way to incorporate smell into shows, too. That'd be REALLY multi-sensory.

When we were done talking, I was walking back over to where Wanda and Fran were waiting for me to stop being a groupie when Mark bounded over to me yet again, saying, "Hey! Look at that guy. Don't you think he's a pretty foxy guy?" I laughed but I couldn't figure out whether he was talking about Jacob or the crew guy, both of whom were in the vicinity of where he pointed. Then he randomly asked how old I was (I couldn't help thinking of Adventure Time: "how old ARE you?" "I'm twelve years old!" "I'm twenty-eight!") He got all wistful thinking about when he was nineteen and told me it's a good age and I should squeeze as much goodness out of it as possible.

Which I guess I've been doing this week. I keep thinking about an away message one of my friends had up a couple years ago - something to the effect of, in twenty years, you won't remember the homework, but the fast times in between. And yeah, the TAI spin on that statement WAS necessary.

I'm off to class for now. But don't think this is the end. The end is not the end.

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Currently listening: Kiros - A Single Strand
 
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