3 x 7 = How old I am today

Oh dear God, reading my old blog is EXHAUSTING. I was so freaking hyper at 14. And I knew it. And I think I knew it was obnoxious, or at least I said I knew it was obnoxious, but I’m pretty sure what I actually thought was, “I am freaking hilarious. Everybody listen to me being hilarious.”

My first blog was from back in the days of dial-up Internet, when MySpace was the place to be. Knowing how bad our Internet connection was, I can’t imagine how I was online enough to post as many as three times a day. And it was all. Useless. Drivel. I talked about Relient K every other word. But at least I had the good sense to know it was embarrassing that I had ever liked N*Sync.

Also, had the return key not been invented in 2004? Because everything I said was in one long, rambling block of text, which leads me to believe I didn’t pause to breathe a single time in the year 2004. For someone who was supposedly a “good writer,” I wish I’d had some idea what a run-on sentence was.

In honor of my 21st birthday today, I'd like to share some choice tidbits from my high school self, for your amusement (but even more so for mine). These are from sophomore year... more to come.

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OK so how many gwapes can u fit in YOUR mouth? well i can fit 11 and so can my friend raven but my other friend spleen can fit 12, right before she bursts out laughing and they go flying all over the table and look really gross. who knows tomorrow maybe she'll bring smaller grapes and then she can fit 15. once i knew this kid who could fit 18 full-sized marshmallows in his mouth at once, and still say "fluffy bunny." and this other kid who could fit an entire clementine in his mouth and almost close it.

i need someone to talk to. i feel rather lonesomeful. hmm well i can go talk to my sis who i guess thinks she is a water fountain, please dont ask. oooooh! a lollipop!!

well jmae was reading my blog and decided that she was inspired to imitate an elephant. and now i guess she has a few words to type. hmm i guess i better proofread this... ok this is jmae:
emememememememem
ok i guess thats what she thinks an elephant sounds like.

i played volleyball on a moonwalk and the guy who came with the moonwalk was reaaallly cute so me and heather named him skittles.

what if somehow my brain got switched with my ex-boyfriend's brain? and suddenly we had to live each other's lives? i'd be RUINED i tell you! ...friends? idk maybe he could handle them... if he just shut up and pretended to have laryngitis... seriously i mean i dont hate him but we're polar opposites, i dunno how we ended up going out. (Author's note: I apparently feel this way about every ex-boyfriend I have. Is there a lesson I should be learning from this...?)

yay guess what my clock is all better. i think it caught my cold but i gave it some medicine and now its stuck at whatever time it was when i poured cough syrup on it... just kidding it says 3:48 just like it should.

yayy i got my yellow belt!!! and the creepy kid didnt tell me what i smell like!

and tristram, my sped buddy, was like 'mandii is the gay pride penguin' so i hit him with a ruler because i most certainly am not.

mr leary.... i know youre not reading this... but... YOU OWE ME A STAPLER AND I BETTER FIND ONE IN MY STOCKING ON SATURDAY!!! or i'll turn you into strawberry milk

we had a 2 hour delay cause of the snow... first i couldnt hear the bus go by on its way up my street, and i was in the kitchen when it went by the other way. it stopped by my house because my neighbor and i always have to catch it on its way back, and i pulled on my chucks without tying them and grabbed my backpack but no coat and ran out there in the foot-deep snow, but it drove away without me. so now my feet were cold and my chucks were soaking. so i tried to dry them off with a hair dryer but my mom told me I was being stupid and to wear different shoes.

i told heather she had a lima bean on her face, and then i decided it was a brussel sprout instead. even tho it was really just a piece of dirt or something. then i accused her of giving me foot cancer.

period 4 - health test. agh. I HATE SEX IT IS SO GROSS.

i hate math with a passion that burns like a burning passion of hatred. but today i am a mathlete.

my neighbor says... SQUIRREL!!!!!! SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! icky coconut GET OFF MY LEG I CANT FEEL MY LEG EEWWWW DID YOU WET MY LEG?????

dear diary today me and lily discovered how escalators REALLY work. theres little guys on bikes inside them.

then i accidentally shouted really loud in the library so i shut up and ran into the young adult room where i fell over a chair. it was such fun!

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Peace, love, and legal indulgences,
Miss Rex

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