Excavations of Claymore: Tall, Dark and Lovely

A lovely drink for a tall and tired writer on a cold, dark night such as this...

...and every bit as cool and classy as the name card.

Hazelnut just can't help it. She's a fair lady on a white horse. She wears pearls. She never kisses on the first date (not that there's anything wrong with that... ^_^). Hazelnut is the Midas of coffees: every drink she touches turns to pure, 100% edible gold.

Tonight I met Hazel's bestie, English toffee, and it seems I waited far too long to make her acquaintance. She's the subtle sweet that amaretto and caramel could never quite live up to; they, respectively, trampled and tickled my taste buds so that I could not enjoy them in any combination. But I must say I hold onto hope for caramel, and at least for tonight she was osmotically cool by virtue of the hazelnut and English toffee upon which she was drizzled. The poor girl just hasn't found Mr. Right yet.

But English toffee doesn't NEED Mr. Right. She's like, the Jane Eyre of artificial flavor syrups. She's the lovely that rounds out the tall and dark. (Now that I've so fully characterized each of these flavors, I'm thinking I should write a play about them for my class.)

Grace à English toffee, je donne cette boive 4 étoiles.

And now (I know, this is the part of class that everybody hates) it's time for audience participation!! It's your job, darling reader, to choose my next caffeinated adventure. Drinks I have yet to review in Claymore:

Almond Joy
Cherry Cordial
Prickly Cactus
English Challenge
Rasp-LIMErry Fizz (clearly NOT coffee)
The Long Islander
Irish Dream
The Perfect Cap
The Orange Real
Tarzan & Jane
Platelet's Perfection
A Fighting Scot
Kyle Lincoln
The Shortstack Chai
Fiona's Wicked Minty Apple Cider


Peace, love, and milk raspberry rosebuds (<-- that's what the box-o'-chocolates treasure map calls them),
Miss Rex


Anonymous said...

I think, for the sake of Gordon's recent heritage, you should try Platelet's Perfection. As someone who has moved on from the Gordon community, her legacy lives on in one simple drink. C:

<3 you know who

Colleen said...

I'd have to vote for either A Fighting Scot, since I have no idea what that might be, or Fiona's Wicked Minty Apple Cider, since the mint and apple combination could be very interesting.

And while I don't comment often, I still loving reading your blog, it always makes me smile!

Michael said...

Go with either the Fighting Scot(which I helped to make), or the Irish Dream, which is simply amazing!!

On a side note: The Orange Real can only be made properly by the barista Seth, who had a hand in its creation...

emily said...

My vote goes first for the Irish Dream with the Fighting Scot coming in a close second.

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