Scatterday

I have been extraordinarily unproductive and unmotivated these past few days. Jesus eats my life.

...I mean the compy, not the Christ.

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We know what a weeaboo is...


...and we know what a Pikablu is (this is what Pokemon fans called the second generation Pokemon Marill before the name Marill was announced in the States).


But I bet you ain't ever seen one of these:


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I hate things like electric toothbrushes and GPSes because they encourage us to be lazy and stupid. These "conveniences" do everything our brains and bodies used to do themselves. The GPS eradicates our ability to solve problems in a common-sensical way. Can you read a sign? Then you should be able to find your way home. I'll forgive you if you live in or around Boston and Cambridge. I never go there without a human GPS to guide me out.

The digital clock has all but undone my knowledge of how to read an analog clock. I can still do it if I look at the thing for a minute. But then I always have to double check it against the digital clock on the stove. Even the cell phone, which I couldn't possibly do without, is a vehicle of stupidification. You know I never learned Creep's phone number? I never had to dial it. Not once. He sent the first text message, I saved the number, and I never had to worry about it again.

I think the only reason I'm not a bumbling oaf is because I'm in school and my classes don't allow me to be. I fear what transformation shall take place when I graduate.

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Miss Stephanie Faris from Steph in the City gave me the Love Ya award this week! Thanks Steph! I love you, too.


I'm going to pass this one on to the quirky Kitty Lascurain at abellevie! Abellevie! is a savory stew of wit and whimsy. Kitty, if you were looking for a new tagline, I think I might have just come up with it....

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Me: My nose itches.
The Addict: Then cut it off. That's probably in the Qur'an or something.

Me: The doctor said I should put Head and Shoulders shampoo on it. At this point I feel like I'd need to put it all over my body....
Mnomanoms: So it'd be head, shoulders, knees AND toes!

The Addict: Guys, some things just... don't have lips.

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Consensus: 99 out of 100 people should not have mustaches. The other one is a bandit, a guru or a Frenchman. Or Earl Hickey. Note that the 1/100 does not play an instrument. He certainly does not write heartfelt lyrics. If someone does these things, he should not have a mustache.

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For years I've been telling myself to stop liking Fall Out Boy. I've come to the conclusion that this cannot be done.

6 comments:

C said...

Stop liking Fall Out Boy? It cannot be done, nor should it be attempted.

rad world x wanda said...

NEVER stop liking Fall Out Boy.

...Or The Academy Is... for that matter.

A Woman Made of Dust said...

I, sadly, am also made dumb thanks to the digital clock. I cannot read a regular clock any longer! I am always either having to check my cell phone or ask someone else.

"Guns don't kill people. People with mustaches kill people."

WMD

Mr. Condescending said...

Lickitung was my fav pokemon.

I agree totally with you about the GPS thing, I drive constantly and I always use a real map.

emily said...

oh, i am so glad i am not alone on the analog clock thing. it takes me way longer than it should to figure it out.

Vincent G said...

Loved reading this, thank you

 
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