Scatterday Deluxe

Aloha, my dear friends! Or perhaps I should say "aang!" That's an Eskimo word for "hello;" it seems appropriate as it's quite snowy here this afternoon.

I suppose you're wondering why I've been MIA for about a month now. The answer is the Go-Co chain chomps have been steadily nomming my soul this month, and when I'm not slaving away on some paper/speech/presentation or working my two jobs, I've been living the epic life. It's been such an eventful month; I can't wait to tell you all my stories!

Sadly, now is not the time for that, as I do still have much to attend to: Big presentation Tuesday, final exam Wednesday, other final exam Thursday, and job so I can afford Christmas presents this year. But I do have time for a quickie comprising many, many fabulous quotes!

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Me: As a wise white rapper from Colorado once said, "never trust a ho."

Me: If you got a barnacle stuck to your ear, you'd have to keep your head sideways with your ear in a fishbowl all the time so it wouldn't die.

The Addict: If a small scallop were to drive on the highway, he would not exceed 74mph.

The Pantsless One: Ramen is dangerous.
Me: The salt content alone could kill a large snail.

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Mnomanoms re: our snail floating in his fishbowl (we did NOT feed him ramen): Our dear Monsieur Nom Noms has gone to the big fishbowl in the sky.

NOTE: This was not the case; apparently floating does not indicate death for snails as it does for most aquatic creatures.

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Me: (After spilling an incredibly hot drink all over my hand) FUCK! ....sorry, that was really loud. But why is my drink so hot???
The Addict: Because he put love in it.

A WORD OF ADVICE: Don't do coffee, kids. Once you get used to it you'll never go back. I got my favorite steamer and it didn't taste like anything special (and then it burned me... in both senses of the word). The Addict blames the bar-dude for sneaking in some of that sugar-free AMOR advertised on the flavors whiteboard. So the real life lesson here is, never get your AMOR sugar free. Why would you compromise something like that?

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The Pantsless One: Fear not, I'm sure he'll grab your boobs someday.

Ravin: "I'm Hindu" "I'm Buddhist" "I'm a sensual napper"

The Pantsless One: Well he had to cuddle-rape you first...

Me: We can't kill cows! They're magnets!
Bear: Um what
Me: You heard me!

Bear: What food would I be?
Me: Probably an omelet because you're full of random, you're warm, and I never get sick of you.
Bear: ...wow, you somehow made me being called an omelet heartwarming.

My advisor at the school paper: I think those Go-Po are no mo'.

Me and our editor in chief: Scrub your dishes with Bella's womb!!

The Pantsless One: I'm getting you the Twilight shower curtain for Christmas.
Me: I will wrap your dead body in it when I throw it off a boat in the Arctic Ocean.

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Courtesy of my friend The Bathrobe Guy, who transfered out of Go-Co after last semester D'= but came to visit this weekend!

From midnight (OK, 6AM) breakfast with The Bathrobe Guy:


Me: The piranhas are coming to get you on your English muffin raft!!

The Bathrobe Guy: What? I had to ventilate my trachea!

Me: Indubitably? It means without a doubt. Without a dubit, in fact.

The Bathrobe Guy: The world is my napkin!

Me: This tastes like grilled cheese, but without the cheese.

The Bathrobe Guy: You sound like a smurf when a smurf doesn't sounds like a smurf.

Me: I throw pizza frisbee atchu!

The Bathrobe Guy runs on Energizer batteries. He just keeps going and going….
The Bathrobe Guy’s innards are made of various alloys.
The Bathrobe Guy very well may be the new Chuck Norris.

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If you're looking for something more substantial, try my other blog, The Amandangle! I've got two new reviews posted there as well as an article about non-Christians attending my Christian college.

Peace, love, and oatmeal,
Miss Rex

8 comments:

boredomabound said...

I'm very glad that my hatred of pants is reflected in your name for me. Also, the word verification thingy for this comment is "douspo". This amuses me. I'm not sure why.

K a b l o o e y said...

Been missing you. Have an Amandasaurus-shaped hole in my life right now.

Xenocide said...

Hey, you left out something. This is how the grilled cheese/smurf thing went down.

This tastes like grilled cheese, but without the cheese. (you)
You sound like a smurf when a smurf doesn't sound like a smurf. That's basically what you just said. (me)

That's what my 6am memory banks are telling me. ..Although I admit, I might have a couple papers filed in the wrong drawers. Few pages short of a quarterly report, as it were.

Amandasaurus said...

The Pantsless One - sadly, "no pants" is probably the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you or talk about you to anyone.

K a b l o o e y - Aww, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever posted on my blog! <3

The Bathrobe Guy - As a matter of fact, I think I actually made a noise that you tried to compare to a smurf (the comparison failed for obvious reasons.... i.e. I didn't sound like a smurf). ^_^

Xenocide said...

Really? Hmm. Guess I was missing a few files in my computer when I saved that Denny's run to memory. Hate when that happens. I really don't remember you trying to smurf, though.
Oh wait! It must have been after the SMURPHTH thingy. I mean, I still don't remember it. But that's probably around when it was. Right?

Amandasaurus said...

I wasn't trying to sound like one. The whole smurf(phth) thing originated with YOU, my friend. You were mocking me, you mean bully! And then you wrote "smurf" on the picture so you'd remember how funny it was at the time.

Xenocide said...

Me? Mock you? Noooooo. Not I. Nope. Must have the wrong Bathrobe Guy. S'ok, it's a common mistake.
Oh, hah. Clearly it didn't work, since I don't remember anything surrounding smurfs. :/

thisstorysoldbut... said...

Amanda, thanks for all the comments on my blog. I just went through them and they're all lovely. If I actually checked it (and updated it) often I would have responded!

But good luck with your finals! Break will be soon and I'll be back so I bet we'll be seeing each other. I, for one, cannot wait for snow. I LOVE IT. But then again I was born in January and you were born in August so maybe that makes sense.

 
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