Can Barack Obama save Christmas?

Time flies like an arrow (but fruit flies like a banana). I can't believe it's been a week and a half since I posted anything. It's that time of year: deadlines are crouching tigers/hidden dragons licking their chops at the prospect of a nice juicy comm arts major, the quad is a minefield of goose poop, and free time is harder to come by than a holographic Charizard card.

And it's getting cold.

Not THAT cold, mind you; most native New Englanders are gushing over how mild it's been. But I'm loading up on quilts; I can't make it through the day without oatmeal for breakfast, soup for lunch and Claymore Drink of the Week for dinner. I am positively dreading winter and it hasn't even snowed yet. It hasn't even been close to cold enough to snow. I'm usually not this miserable until February.

I wish I could say looking forward to Christmas is making things better, but I'm already sick of Christmas. I started finding holiday decor in stores well over a month ago while searching for my Cruella De Vil costume, and they've been playing the music in stores way too much for my liking.

Me getting sick of Christmas shouldn't be possible, period - especially not before Thanksgiving even gets here. It is my favorite season. You know I get all gaga over the lights and I become this uber-cheery version of my already-cheerful self and do nice things just because it's nice to be nice, and I throw on some Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hand (Relient K) in the car so I can sing along or just laugh because Relient K is oh so silly.

It's just so wrong that we must celebrate this holiday for two whole months. It diminishes the magic of December to stock the shelves with red and green lights in the middle of October.

America should have a mass screening of Elmo Saves Christmas. Never seen it? Elmo loves Christmas so much that he wishes every day could be Christmas, but when his wish comes true, he sees that the holiday is nothing special when it happens every day.

THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING TO AMERICA, PEOPLE. Our demand for instant gratification has gotten so bad we can't even wait 365 days for a holiday to happen again. THIS IS WHY OUR COUNTRY IS GOING DOWN THE TUBES. There needs to be a law against this insanity. You hear me, Barack? You can do it, yes you can.

If you don't........

...........the magic of Christmas will be lost forever!