Excavations of Claymore: Tarzan and Jane

Helloooooooooo, my loves! As always I apologize for the long and unexplained absence. I dunno what happens to me when I go home for vacation. It's like an anti-blog forcefield. Even though I spent most of the week griping about how boooooored I was, I still could not find it in my heart to sit down and write anything of interest. But never fear! Now that I am back at school with actual work to procrastinate from, I have TONS of fun ideas to write about!

We'll begin with a coffee review. Just to whet your whistle. This one is a little wild, so hold onto that swingin' vine, and watch out for that tree!

Okay, I know it was George who hit the tree, not Tarzan. But YOU had better watch out for that artificial banana taste! I'm no feminist, but I think it's safe to say that Tarzan totally dominates Jane in this drink, and it's time she became a liberated woman (as the saying goes).

Fake banana is a really hard flavor to work with. Real naners are most delish and go well in or with many things, such as bread and yogurt. And pizza, according to Razzmatazz and Mnomanoms, but Le Skeptic remains skeptical on that point.

Regardless, I was less than bananas over this drink. I know I raved about banana flavoring when I tried the Blondie back in September, but I have become wiser and realized that in fact it was the hazelnut I appreciated, not the banana. You know the really cheap, crappy fruit-shaped and allegedly fruit-flavored candy you get out of those 25-cent hand-crank machines at shopping malls and arcades? Fake banana tastes like that. Liquefied. For some reason hazelnut can mask that, but English toffee and French vanilla can't. Maybe Jane is one of those submissive types.

Or maybe it's just a question of ratios. I have in fact had a poorly-made Blondie that tasted pretty much the same as the Tarzan and Jane. I think the drink could pull three stars, but I suggest you order it with just a *hint* of banana, unless you're a little farther back on the evolutionary scale than the rest of us.

^ Yep, the modern blogger needs purple Chucks and a cute pink dress. At least this one does ^_^

Next week: The Irish Dream, as requested oh-so-long ago!

Peace, love, and primates,
Miss Rex


Katie McCoach said...

Hahaha your writing is really great each time i come to your blog its just fun i know ill enjoy it.

ps i saw you are reading scott westerfelds MIdnighter. Please tell me you love it, you have to love it. well you dont have to but i mean, how could you not? i just think his stuff is so great. have you read uglies? seriously the best "saga" ever. okay, ive shoved my opinions on you enough :)

Katie McCoach said...

hahah aww it's so neat when I find someone else who has read his stuff because not so many people have and it stinks because its just so well done his stories just blow my mind and his writing is amazing. i havent read extras either because it came out a while after I had read the first three, but this summer i think ill go back into them. and yes! i read peeps but not the last days, but i know, i read peeps before the vampire phase and it's such an interesting way of explaining it i really liked it...i was going to even mention it on my last comment then i was like, hmmm am i being too much of a book freak? haha i want to read more of his stuff but i just havent yet... but midnighters is such a great one too, they would really be great movies - if someone had alot of money to put into these theyd be so awesome to make as a film.

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