Episode Two: Leave us one more weekend.

Friday I went to the beach to tan. I've been going to Boyfriend's beach instead of mine because I don't have the proper permit to park at my own town's beach and can't afford one. Also, Nantasket Beach has a way better name than the painfully obvious "Sandy" beach. After I'd napped for a while, Wanda came to see me and we walked around, noting the obscene number of jellyfish littering the shore and coming up with ridiculous reasons for their presence. Stay tuned for an explanatory vignette, which we intend to write at the earliest possible date.

Friday night, Boyfriend and The Pantsless One came over to hang out. Ravin was supposed to be there but she couldn't come until she got out of work, so we were killing time until she got there. First we made Boyfriend buy us Ingredients for Jell-O shots and other Fourth of July nommies. Then he went upstairs and played Mario Kart 64 while TPO and I made 6 different flavors of Jell-O with said Ingredients and spooned it all into little cups, which covered two whole shelves of my fridge by the end of the evening. What a painfully stereotypical night, with me and TPO in the kitchen while my boy sat upstairs playing video games.

Then TPO and I decided we wanted to make punch using the rest of our Ingredients, but all we could find was sherbet. We were going to make Ravin bring us Sprite and Hawaiian punch until we found out she wasn't coming after all because she got out of work very late and was exhausted and wanted to get enough rest that she could have a good time on the Fourth. None of us could really hold that against her. So I went online and begged our friend the Cuddle Rapist to bring us stuff for punch, which was such an amusing conversation that I must share it.

Amandasaurus: get your butt to my house
Amandasaurus: and bring
Amandasaurus: sprite and hawaiian punch
Cuddle Rapist: sprite
Cuddle Rapist: why
Amandasaurus: for punch
Cuddle Rapist: where am i going to get that this late
Amandasaurus: riddle's?
Cuddle Rapist: its 11
Amandasaurus: damn
Amandasaurus: you dont have anything in the house?
Cuddle Rapist: find some where thats open
Cuddle Rapist: i've got a bottle of gray goose
Cuddle Rapist: haha
Cuddle Rapist: and cough syurp
Cuddle Rapist: lets make sizzurp
Amandasaurus: no no no
Amandasaurus: we don't need any more of those things
Amandasaurus: nvm TPO says we'll add it
Cuddle Rapist: shut up
Cuddle Rapist: you dont drink
Amandasaurus: uhhhhh
Amandasaurus: well
Amandasaurus: i wish you were here right now
Cuddle Rapist: how old is your mac
Amandasaurus: what? why???
Cuddle Rapist: just answer the question
Cuddle Rapist: i need to make a decision
Amandasaurus: 2007 i think
Cuddle Rapist: is it an intel mac?
Amandasaurus: macbook pro, that's intel right
Cuddle Rapist: yes
Cuddle Rapist: do you have the discs that go with it?
Amandasaurus: yes
Cuddle Rapist: okay
Cuddle Rapist: do you know where they are?
Amandasaurus: yeah
Cuddle Rapist: good
Cuddle Rapist: find some where that's open
Cuddle Rapist: and ill come over

Thus, we obtained our Sprite and Hawaiian Punch and made delicious punch, which we enjoyed while watching the Incredibles. Choosing a movie was quite the fiasco; TPO kept telling me she wanted to watch a movie and I kept saying well go pick one out off the shelf. So the third time she asked me I was like "GODDAMMIT TPO, GO LOOK AT THE GODDAMN SHELF AND PICK A GODDAMN MOVIE." Helpful as always, Boyfriend said, "I knew she'd be an angry drunk." BUT I WASN'T DRUNK. Not even a little bit.

Halfway through the movie, everyone got sleepy so we decided to go to bed. Boyfriend was going to leave because he sucks... uh, I mean, had work in the morning... but TPO and Cuddle Rapist refused to move their cars so he was stuck.

In the morning, Cuddle Rapist dove on me and Boyfriend to wake us up and we repeated the stereotypical performance of the night before. Boyfriend dragged his butt out of bed at a glacial pace while I made him French toast, and then he and Cuddle Rapist lolled uselessly at the kitchen table while TPO and I made banana pancakes. Well, Cuddle Rapist was on his PC trying to get it to run my OS (that's why he was asking for my disks the night before), so I guess Boyfriend was the only one acting useless. Wow, I'm really being mean to Boyfriend in this entry. Sorry, Musclecakes.

Soon they both left. After that, TPO and I stuffed our faces, walked around in the sunshine, bought stuff for me to make a pie for the dessert picnic we were supposed to have later with Ravin, and baked a pizza for lunch at 11:30, a true testament to how early we'd woken up.

Then TPO went home and I had a couple of hours to tidy up for my family, who were coming home late that night. I had an unpleasant surprise when I opened the fridge. The whole thing reeked of Jell-O shots. It was like someone had drained all the coolant and replaced it with Bacardi and artificial fruit flavoring. I scrubbed the little circles from the cups off the shelves, but the smell remained. I left the door open and placed a fan on the shelf to coax out the fumes. When that didn't work, I left an open bowl of tuna in there for about an hour, and it was good as new.

I'll have to owe you the last installment or two tomorrow, because it's almost time to leave for the Reel Big Fish show! HUZZAH!