Episode Three: The rockets are burning

Once the house was spotless, I drove to The Pantsless One's, where we waited for Ravin to get unstuck from traffic. Unfortunately this took over an hour since there was a parade float taking up all two lanes of the highway, which is the only sensible way for Ravin to get from her house to TPO's unless she wants to drive an extra 15 miles or something.

She finally arrived and we stuffed our faces yet again, then set out for Boyfriend's cliff by the sea. They dropped me off at Boyfriend's, since I was going to his and Dick's bonfire, and they went to meet up with some other friends. I helped the guys haul wood palettes down to the beach for the fire, although we weren't sure we would be able to light them since the po-po were being very strict about no bonfires happening on the beach this year. Luckily we were at the end of the beach and would have plenty of warning if they decided to crash.

And they did. Before we'd even dared to light our own bonfire, we saw them dousing someone else's a ways down. Some celebration of freedom. I couldn't help pointing out that our country was founded on rebellion and there's really no better day of the year to uphold that tradition than on Independence Day. However, I don't think the po-po would've liked that explanation.

The menfolk (a.k.a. 90% of the people there) amused themselves by shooting Roman candles at each other, in greater numbers and with less accuracy as the amount of alcohol in their systems went up and up and up. Me and fire don't really mix that well so I mostly observed from a semi-safe distance, poised to bolt if something stupid happened.

Oh, and it did. We had a few fireworks stick in the seaweed after they were lit and explode all over the ground, nearly smiting us all, not to mention the little whizzing sparklers that basically go where they please, especially if you can't throw (like me). One of them nearly owned my face but luckily I dodged it by falling on my bum.

Ravin and TPO kept calling to try and figure out where we were. It shouldn't have been that difficult since we were the last group on the entire beach and I kept telling them that, but it wasn't sinking in (thank the Jell-O shots).

At last they found us. Ravin goes "Mandii. This is our new friend GERRY!" Gerry was kind enough to walk them most of the way down the beach because he didn't want them to die/get raped/wander into the ocean unawares in their drunken state. TPO announced that she and Gerry were getting married. By Ravin. Aww, cute...?

We didn't stick around long after that. TPO was going to pee her pants so I took her and Ravin to Boyfriend's to use the bathroom, where she peed for two minutes straight (and I have no problem announcing that on my blog, as she came down the stairs and announced it to Boyfriend's dad when she was done.)

As soon as we got back to the beach we ended up deciding to leave for good and had to walk up that awful hill again. Honest to God if I walked up that hill once a day for a month I would be 100% in shape. That's all it would take.

Then I talked Boyfriend into driving Ravin and TPO back to their friend's house, except I didn't know where it was and they didn't remember either so we basically drove the entire length of the peninsula and back before finding the place. And then they were too lazy to find their friend so they ended up sleeping in the car! When I'd offered them their own room with a bed in it at Boyfriend's house!

They woke up early and were waiting outside the house when Boyfriend and I woke up. I went with them, he went to work. We stopped for breakfast and then lounged uselessly in TPO's bed watching Family Guy and listening to music until noon, when I left to go home and see my family.

At which point I announced that two people would be staying in our house that night - Schneckleface and her friend Ashley were spending Schneckleface's last night in MA chez moi before embarking on the cross-country road trip Schneckleface and I were supposed to take last summer. I'd known about it sooner than that day, I just hadn't brought it to anyone else's attention. They were gone, you know? They ditched me. No one was there to tell.

Schneckleface and Ashley got here around 5 and we had dinner and dessert. Then we went to the grocery store for them to get provisions, which took forever because they're both apparently very indecisive. After that we walked a bit on the beach (Ashley has pictures on her camera, but I won't have them until those two make it back to Phoenix in a couple of weeks) and then went to watch fireworks at the neighboring town's harbor. I was glad I'd get to see a real show, and glad that I would not have to fear for my life since Boyfriend and Dick weren't in charge of the fuses.

We met up with Ash and Bat in town and we all found a spot on a narrow strip of beach, which only got narrower as the night went on until there wasn't any more beach to sit on and we had to climb the rocks or swim. After the show, to avoid the traffic, we went to the Derby playground to kill time and Bat took a bunch of sweet long exposure shots of us running around with cell phones. Twas a lovely evening in every way imaginable!