The Goose is getting fat

New from the Starship of Cobra!

Why does Bruce Leroy glow? All I've seen of The Last Dragon is the little clip they posted in their blog, in which Bruce Leroy was glowing.

Golden Goose was awful this year. I mean, not all of the acts were awful, but they were not an entire Friday night worth of good, either. This thing went from 8 to 11 or so, and they could've squeezed the three redeeming aspects of the show into probably 40 minutes: Drake, who hosted it; C.S., whose video was this hilarious infomercial about the cement block as the latest and greatest in workout equipment and whose stage performance was a Blok class turned Disney musical; and Jordan, who painted himself blue and got some blue friends to help him impersonate the Blue Man Group. They had the white piping and everything. It was effing brilliant.

As for the other ten contestants, many of their videos were actually about being in Golden Goose, which is pretty dumb, and most of the performances were dance numbers of various degrees of failure. Which means some of them didn't fail that badly, but neither did they stand out from the crowd as creative or original. Honestly, I would've left and taken Boyfriend with me if I hadn't promised my editor I'd review the show for the Tartan.

And now I don't know what to write, because I don't want to be hated by everyone on campus for saying it was garbage, but there aren't a lot of good things I can say about the experience. I guess I'll try and write it like a news piece rather than a review, thus keeping it as objective as possible.

On the bright side, a bunch of us went out to Denny's after. I hadn't eaten dinner, so it was a fabulous way to top off a not-so-fabulous night.

I've been asking people if they've ever dreamed they had more than five fingers on each hand. You see, back when I was trying to teach myself to have lucid dreams, I read up on controlling your dreams and the first step is to determine you're dreaming. So you do a reality check. I never remember to do them in dreams, but the idea is that if you do them enough in real life, the habit will translate to your dreams. So there are checks like flipping a light switch to see if it has an effect, checking a clock periodically to see whether the time jumps around, checking a mirror to see if you're what's reflected or if it's just shadows, and, of course, checking to see that you've got five fingers on each hand. I always thought this one was bull. I don't pay that close attention to my hands in dreams, but I really don't think I've ever had more than five fingers per hand. Well recently, I remembered to check, and as I watched, a sixth finger grew out of the side of each hand. It was... a very enlightening experience.


Mr. Paul said...

BECAUSE HE'S THE LAST DRAGON! That movie is incredible...

Anonymous said...

that title to the Cobra song is freaking hilarious. too bad they don't actually say that in the song. actually the lyrics don't really say anything. not that i'm really expecting anything profound in cobra songs...but still...

smash it up...we're gonna kick it down...123 go...

yeah, not much to it. i guess pixie sticks don't have much to them either, but they're still fun to eat. C:

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